Hello, it’s midnight and I can’t fall asleep! So, I thought I would come down stairs, prepare a midnight snack and blog my thoughts away! Just like the weather outside, my mood today was just BLAH! I was feeling a bit low because this infection is really bothering me and not seem to be going away with the antibiotic that I’m taking and I know I have to visit my family doctor to change it. I don’t really mind going back to him because he is CUTE. He’s pretty young too so don’t judge me! Anyways, there was so much that I had to do today but couldn’t because of the pain and weakness this infection is causing me and that’s mainly the reason why I was not having a good day. I was thinking about how this infection is ruining my life! Ha ha, I suddenly remembered the part in the movie Freaky Friday when Lindsay Lohan was yelling at her mom saying, “you’re ruining my life!” I loved that movie, I definitely need to watch it again. In fact, for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been in the mood to watch a movie but there hasn’t seem to be any good ones coming out so I’m glad this one came to mind. Anyways, so I was just sitting on my couch today watching make up tutorials on You tube because there was really nothing I was able to do physically besides that and thinking about why this was happening to me. I want to go out and be a normal person, I came back from India last month thinking that I am going to go back to school, get an education, not stress or let anything get in the way of doing what I want but it’s hard. First of all, there is pain and discomfort, and then there is that cruel feeling and thought that eats you alive when something goes wrong, “why is this only happening to me?!” I popped in a Tylenol for the pain but had no remedy for what I was feeling. This isn’t like a throat infection that hurts for a while and then goes away after gargling with salt water, this is a very mean infection. It’s not letting me go outside nor is it letting me stay at home and do home schooling, or maybe I’m just tired of all this hospital business and lack the motivation to do anything. Maybe the stress has piled up and I’ve drowned to deep into it that I can’t find the way to swim back up. I need to keep reminding myself what Dori said to Nemo’s dad when he gave up looking for his son, “just keep swimming, just keeping swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!” Every time I go up and down the stairs, my stomach hurts so I just have to make my self comfortable on the couch and keep my mind busy. I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m making excuses. I watched so many make up tutorials that I had the urge to try a look on myself, so I went upstairs to my room and made my self up. It didn’t turn out that bad but I could use some more practice because I have not done a full face make up look on myself in more than three years! I used to love applying make up and dressing up, going out, hanging out with my friends but since I have not been doing that for more than three years, I felt a bit better seeing my face in full make up. I guess today I just had to step back, relax and take some time to get better and that is okay. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day! Goodbye for now!
Hello everyone! I am so sorry I was not able to post for a week and I know I said I would post a story about when my MRI report got haunted. I sat down the day before Halloween to write it but I could not finish the story because I was in so much pain due to this infection. I wrote about half that night and then finished it throughout this week and finally got the energy to proof read it today. So here it is, enjoy!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I hope you had lots of candy to eat and had fun celebrating it with your family and friends. What were you dressed up as for Halloween, make sure to leave a comment below and also let me know what you did. I actually was not strong enough to do anything because of this infection so I just stayed home and relaxed. Anyway, for the spirit, I would like to tell you a very strange and spooky story about the time when my MRI report got haunted! The story begins in the summer of 2012, when I just came back from my vacation from India and Dubai, it was the best vacation of my life! I was in India for 5 weeks and in Dubai for 1 week. I didn’t notice any changes in my health in India but whilst walking at night in Dubai, I noticed that I was walking a bit different and my feet were killing me. I could tell that something in my back or spine was pulling and not allowing me to take proper steps and also my feet were curving inwards. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I just figured that maybe I wasn’t wearing proper shoes and that’s what was causing the problem and discomfort. A neural tube defect effects its victims differently, not everyone who has this problem has the same abnormalities, for example there are people with this defect who are in wheelchairs whereas there are people who are walking without any help at all. In my case when it comes to my back and legs, I just need to wear proper, wide and flat shoes but that night I was wearing sandals with a bit of heels. After that day, that sharp pain had not come back so I really did enjoy my stay in Dubai and then came back home to Canada! For one month I was good, I was walking without any pain but, that changed quickly. This time, I was at the mall with my sister and her friends when I was experiencing the same pain and discomfort while walking to the movie theatre. While I was taking steps towards the theatre, I knew there was something wrong because this was not normal for me, but regardless of that, I still waited for another month to see if it would continue, and it did. Everyday when I would walk, my back and legs would hurt terribly, some days I was not even able to walk because something in my back seemed to be stuck, I would also get severe neck pain and head aches. I finally called to book an appointment with my orthopedic, he basically told me that this issue did not seem to be mechanical or bone related so I should go see my neurosurgeon which I did and he told me that he will see me after I get an MRI test done. An MRI is a test where they make you lie down in a small machine that looks like a tanning bed, you have to stay still like a zombie for about an hour with LOUD noises banging in your head! I hate getting them done because I am a bit claustrophobic. So, after a couple weeks I got a call from my neurosurgeons office, the receptionist told me that the doctor would like to see me and so I booked an appointment and waited impatiently until that day came! To my surprise there was NOTHING wrong in my MRI report, not even one nerve had been damaged and I know you’re thinking that I should be happy, which I was but more than that I was confused! What was going on in my back? Why was I not able to walk properly like I was before? Why were my feet curving inwards? I asked him and he had no answers. How can he not have any answers, didn’t he go to school for all this?! Was that my MRI report he was reviewing? My mind was blank. I went home that day and told my self that it’s alright, everything will be okay and I will be able to walk soon without any pain. Months went by and I was still experiencing the same issues, I stopped going out and doing the things I like to do, gained a tremendous amount of weight and fell into a bit of depression. I just was not able to walk anymore because it would hurt me. I went back to my neurosurgeon and he still did not have any answers, he held up my MRI report again, showing me that there was nothing wrong with it. I felt like taking that report and shredding it into pieces! There was something seriously wrong with my report, I know a ghost haunted it and made it seem like everything was normal, I don’t know why the ghost would do that but I know it did! That’s the only explanation!
Well, I hope you enjoyed this story! Come back for more, I have TONS of stories like this =)
So, as you can probably tell by now that for my age, I did and still continue to deal with quite a lot. In my younger years, a big part of my life consisted of frequently going to appointments and/or recovering from major surgeries. As I got older, I continued frequently going to appointments however I did not have to undergo any surgeries after the age of 15 but that quickly got replaced with getting admitted at the hospital very often because of infections in my stomach. Due to these issues, I had to either take a big break from school or leave for the whole year. Well, when I was younger I really did not have a choice because it took at least 3-6 months to fully recover from a surgery so I was compelled to take a huge break from school but when I grew older and the infections started, I voluntarily left for the whole school year due to stress. An infection only takes a month to heal and I could have gone back but I was just too stressed out to concentrate on my studies and I totally regret it now. If I would’ve pulled through, I’d have a degree by now, however, I don’t blame myself too much because I really was going through a lot. Basically what I am trying to say is that many incidents which took place throughout my life made me kind of step back and take a break from doing normal activities such as going to school, work or simply going to the mall with my friends. I had to stay home to heal or relax my mind due to excessive stress because I was just not mentally strong enough to keep moving forward and that is where life interrupted came to my mind! My health issues kind of interrupt me physically and mentally from doing daily activities, for example, a few of my friends are going to this Halloween haunt at Canada’s Wonderland and I am unable to join them due to this infection I caught, I feel sick and have no energy to stay out late with them. But it’s okay, I’m not that bummed out, I know it’s more important for me to relax and take care of my self now and then when I feel better I can go have fun with them later! So that’s the whole secret behind my blogs name, I hope you enjoyed reading and come back for a spooky story about how my MRI report got haunted! Goodbye.