Learning from my mistakes.

Hello again, that’s three blog posts in one week! Are you proud of me or what?! So, today was a good day for me, I went to the mall after so long! I needed to go because I have three gift cards from two years ago and I’m afraid they’ll tell me that I won’t be able to use it because the cards have expired, however I don’t know if gift cards ever do expire, do you know? Darn it, I should have asked them! So I walked around for three hours and came out with absolutely nothing! By the way, I’m feeling much better from the infection, although I do have a little, teeny, tiny bit of a stomach pain and I’m trying my best to ignore it. So yes, I came out with nothing after walking around the mall for three whole hours, I was mad but kind of not, I guess I was just content that I got to leave my house because I was inside those four walls for too long. It was a nice atmosphere at the mall, Santa was there taking pictures, Christmas lights were shining bright and people had on their Santa hats. It really got me in a festive mood that now I feel like calling some of my friends over, watching some classic Christmas movies, eating cookies and building gingerbread man houses. Speaking of gingerbread man houses, I need to go and pick up a kit because for the past 3 years I’ve been talking about building one but whenever I go to the mall or store to buy one, it’s all sold out! I do go last minute so this year I made it a goal to grab one sooner! Anyways, so this time of the year is my favorite, well I actually love September all the way through February. No, I’m not a big fan of summer, crazy I know! I love when the weather starts to get chilly because then I have an excuse to wear my big furry boots, chunky sweaters with leggings and scarves! There were really good sales on sweaters but nothing excited me, even at Sephora and I love Sephora! I went in to actually buy something because I had a 50$ gift card from my sister but seriously there was nothing new that I liked. I literally went up, down and around the mall looking for something to buy because I had three gift cards but it shocks me too that I couldn’t find anything worth buying! I was not even in the mood to have Starbucks and I love Starbucks! However today was a really good day, I’m glad I went out because today I realized that I am not the same person as I was before, in a good way. As I was walking around the mall, I noticed that sometimes my back and legs would feel weak which gave me difficulties in walking straight. I had to take breaks to sit down because my legs and back were hurting. I was just not walking properly today and I don’t care! If this was me five years ago, I would leave the mall, turn back home and feel sorry for my self, also perhaps not leave my house ever again! I would also cry a lot. But today, I was a true champion! I felt pain, sat down, got back up, walked however I felt like walking, did not care about who thought what of me and left the mall feeling like a boss! I was so proud of myself. I learned that I no longer care about what people think of me and that is the biggest accomplishment of my life. I was always so scared about what people were thinking about me and that really caused a tremendous amount of destruction in my life so I am happy that I over came that. It felt as if this big burden had been lifted off my shoulders and I was a free little bird who was allowed to do anything she wanted to do. I no longer felt caged and it was the best feeling I have felt in years. I’m not going to get into it too much on this post but keep a look out for my next post on this topic because I will break it down for you all. I hope you liked reading about my day at the mall, good bye for now!

Feeling positive.

Greetings earthlings! So, I’ve been getting these weird feelings lately that something good is about to happen. I actually wanted to make a whole new blog post about this so I didn’t mention it in my last post. I don’t ever feel anything good is about to happen because my moods usually are very low due to my health conditions and I find it so weird that I’m feeling something positive at a time like this. As you know that I’ve been sick lately and because of this sickness I’ve been feeling extra bummed out and low but surprisingly, along with feeling so dull, I’ve also been sensing that something good is coming my way. I lay in bed thinking what is going on, why am I so sick and in so much pain, I feel like everything is over but then suddenly I get these good happy thoughts and feelings that something really great is about to happen or I’m going to receive some good news! It’s like my brain interrupts my heart and says, “NO! Stop feeling this way! Something good is coming your way very soon so stop worrying!” I’m not able to pin point to exactly what is about to happen or if something will really happen but these feelings seem so strong. Maybe it’s hope knocking on my door telling me to open up and get out of the pity party room? Whatever it is, it’s helping me move forward and forget what’s been going on for the past couple of weeks. If anything does happen. I will keep you all posted! Goodbye for now.

The after math of an infection.

Hey, I’m finally back! I got the IV out of my hand last week but was in no mood of blogging because I was just tired, physically and mentally. Everyday I thought of turning on of my laptop and putting my thoughts into words but I felt so unmotivated and bummed out. As soon as I got the IV out I was so pumped to take on this world and go back to living life but I still feel pain and weakness therefore I am on stand by! This is exactly why my blog is called life interrupted, once again my health has interrupted me from doing daily normal activities, in other words, interrupted my life! My mood has been so dull and low, sometimes I feel anger and frustration, other times I just feel like eating a whole tub of ice cream, pies, chips, chocolate, candies and all the other yummy comfort foods! I am very big on comfort food, it may not be the best thing to do but I hereby certify that delicious food has the ability to turn that frown upside down! And yes, these past two weeks all I have been doing is eating, eating and eating some good junk food! Ugh, I just realized that I need to exercise all those calories off when I feel better. Let’s not think about that right now though! So, I was saying, my mood has been super low ever since I caught the infection because I know that it gets in the way of everything and you can’t really do much when you have a needle in your hand. I was feeling like a loser just sitting at home, not doing anything and the worst part of it all was that while I was in India last month, I decided that I’m going to come back to Canada and finish where I left off in school so I can get a university degree but ever since September 1st I’ve been sick and in so much pain. Stomach pain is the worst pain ever! I made such good plans in India but this infection kind of threw me off and delayed everything. So, because of that, I felt sad and unmotivated to do anything. It just felt so unfair that for the first time in my life I wanted to do something positive for myself but something INTERRUPTED me, once again. You know what’s funny, every time I talk about going back to school and getting a degree, I always end up very sick or something gets in the way of me achieving that goal, its like someone up there has other plans for me. I’ve thought about it and I think He’s going to make me very famous one day or I’m going to get married to a superstar and be very rich that I don’t even need an education! Haha, I wish. Anyways, so I just kind of stayed at home and thought about things and I realized that I cannot let this obstacle come in the way of living my life so I’m going to go out there and be the KING OF THE WORLD! If this was the 16 year old me, I would just give up on everything and lock my self in my room but I am much older and wiser now to do that. By the way, let me know in the comments what you do when you’re sick because I can’t think of doing much other than watching television and You tube videos, sometimes it gets so boring! Anyways, so here I am again, getting back up and not giving up on life or this blog. I hope you didn’t forget about me and are ready for some more blog posts because while I was getting better, I made a list of things I wanted to talk about in my blog so keep a look out for them! Goodbye for now.

 

A day in the life of a sick person.

Hello, it’s midnight and I can’t fall asleep! So, I thought I would come down stairs, prepare a midnight snack and blog my thoughts away! Just like the weather outside, my mood today was just BLAH! I was feeling a bit low because this infection is really bothering me and not seem to be going away with the antibiotic that I’m taking and I know I have to visit my family doctor to change it. I don’t really mind going back to him because he is CUTE. He’s pretty young too so don’t judge me! Anyways, there was so much that I had to do today but couldn’t because of the pain and weakness this infection is causing me and that’s mainly the reason why I was not having a good day. I was thinking about how this infection is ruining my life! Ha ha, I suddenly remembered the part in the movie Freaky Friday when Lindsay Lohan was yelling at her mom saying, “you’re ruining my life!” I loved that movie, I definitely need to watch it again. In fact, for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been in the mood to watch a movie but there hasn’t seem to be any good ones coming out so I’m glad this one came to mind. Anyways, so I was just sitting on my couch today watching make up tutorials on You tube because there was really nothing I was able to do physically besides that and thinking about why this was happening to me. I want to go out and be a normal person, I came back from India last month thinking that I am going to go back to school, get an education, not stress or let anything get in the way of doing what I want but it’s hard. First of all, there is pain and discomfort, and then there is that cruel feeling and thought that eats you alive when something goes wrong, “why is this only happening to me?!” I popped in a Tylenol for the pain but had no remedy for what I was feeling. This isn’t like a throat infection that hurts for a while and then goes away after gargling with salt water, this is a very mean infection. It’s not letting me go outside nor is it letting me stay at home and do home schooling, or maybe I’m just tired of all this hospital business and lack the motivation to do anything. Maybe the stress has piled up and I’ve drowned to deep into it that I can’t find the way to swim back up. I need to keep reminding myself what Dori said to Nemo’s dad when he gave up looking for his son, “just keep swimming, just keeping swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!” Every time I go up and down the stairs, my stomach hurts so I just have to make my self comfortable on the couch and keep my mind busy. I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m making excuses. I watched so many make up tutorials that I had the urge to try a look on myself, so I went upstairs to my room and made my self up. It didn’t turn out that bad but I could use some more practice because I have not done a full face make up look on myself in more than three years! I used to love applying make up and dressing up, going out, hanging out with my friends but since I have not been doing that for more than three years, I felt a bit better seeing my face in full make up. I guess today I just had to step back, relax and take some time to get better and that is okay. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day! Goodbye for now!

My Haunted MRI Report.

Hello everyone! I am so sorry I was not able to post for a week and I know I said I would post a story about when my MRI report got haunted. I sat down the day before Halloween to write it but I could not finish the story because I was in so much pain due to this infection. I wrote about half that night and then finished it throughout this week and finally got the energy to proof read it today. So here it is, enjoy!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I hope you had lots of candy to eat and had fun celebrating it with your family and friends. What were you dressed up as for Halloween, make sure to leave a comment below and also let me know what you did. I actually was not strong enough to do anything because of this infection so I just stayed home and relaxed. Anyway, for the spirit, I would like to tell you a very strange and spooky story about the time when my MRI report got haunted! The story begins in the summer of 2012, when I just came back from my vacation from India and Dubai, it was the best vacation of my life! I was in India for 5 weeks and in Dubai for 1 week. I didn’t notice any changes in my health in India but whilst walking at night in Dubai, I noticed that I was walking a bit different and my feet were killing me. I could tell that something in my back or spine was pulling and not allowing me to take proper steps and also my feet were curving inwards. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I just figured that maybe I wasn’t wearing proper shoes and that’s what was causing the problem and discomfort. A neural tube defect effects its victims differently, not everyone who has this problem has the same abnormalities, for example there are people with this defect who are in wheelchairs whereas there are people who are walking without any help at all. In my case when it comes to my back and legs, I just need to wear proper, wide and flat shoes but that night I was wearing sandals with a bit of heels. After that day, that sharp pain had not come back so I really did enjoy my stay in Dubai and then came back home to Canada! For one month I was good, I was walking without any pain but, that changed quickly. This time, I was at the mall with my sister and her friends when I was experiencing the same pain and discomfort while walking to the movie theatre. While I was taking steps towards the theatre, I knew there was something wrong because this was not normal for me, but regardless of that, I still waited for another month to see if it would continue, and it did. Everyday when I would walk, my back and legs would hurt terribly, some days I was not even able to walk because something in my back seemed to be stuck, I would also get severe neck pain and head aches. I finally called to book an appointment with my orthopedic, he basically told me that this issue did not seem to be mechanical or bone related so I should go see my neurosurgeon which I did and he told me that he will see me after I get an MRI test done. An MRI is a test where they make you lie down in a small machine that looks like a tanning bed, you have to stay still like a zombie for about an hour with LOUD noises banging in your head! I hate getting them done because I am a bit claustrophobic. So, after a couple weeks I got a call from my neurosurgeons office, the receptionist told me that the doctor would like to see me and so I booked an appointment and waited impatiently until that day came! To my surprise there was NOTHING wrong in my MRI report, not even one nerve had been damaged and I know you’re thinking that I should be happy, which I was but more than that I was confused! What was going on in my back? Why was I not able to walk properly like I was before? Why were my feet curving inwards? I asked him and he had no answers. How can he not have any answers, didn’t he go to school for all this?! Was that my MRI report he was reviewing? My mind was blank. I went home that day and told my self that it’s alright, everything will be okay and I will be able to walk soon without any pain. Months went by and I was still experiencing the same issues, I stopped going out and doing the things I like to do, gained a tremendous amount of weight and fell into a bit of depression. I just was not able to walk anymore because it would hurt me. I went back to my neurosurgeon and he still did not have any answers, he held up my MRI report again, showing me that there was nothing wrong with it. I felt like taking that report and shredding it into pieces! There was something seriously wrong with my report, I know a ghost haunted it and made it seem like everything was normal, I don’t know why the ghost would do that but I know it did! That’s the only explanation!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this story! Come back for more, I have TONS of stories like this =)